The Incredible years – How to play with your child part one

Written by Lolita Kamayou

Today, I listened to an adult at an anonymous place, seating down opposite the gentlemen listening to his heart cry for help! Unknowingly to himself that in the depth of his heartaches he craved for love, pure love, he craved to be loved, accepted, to belong, to be approved. I pondered within myself whilst listening to his heart cries on how childhood’s negative or positive experiences affect individuals later in life. I recently attended a Mental Health awareness day, where the explanation on how positive or negative seeds planted in a child’s early days of life have a major impact on the fruit produced in later life.

The soil in the life of an individual is unavoidable; it’s where you are born, but the seed planted in the soil will determine the fruits later produced. Negative seeds: shame, abandonment, pain, hurt, rejection, abuse are circumstances that occurred throughout the childhood of the individuals which leaves negative implication in the later life such as eating disorder, anxiety, depression, anger, inter-dependency in adulthood. Positive seeds: love, words of affirmation, encouragement, play, praise, acceptance, kindness, gentleness planted during early years, produces an identity of belonging, building a positive and assertive self-image. They are confident in class with their peer groups or on the playground.

Our children don’t need to strive for acceptance, they don’t need to fit in the box to be accepted, they don’t need to lie to be accepted, they don’t need to search for love in other places for they should know where to find the pure/unconditional love. Our children can live their lives as they were created to be from childhood to adulthood; courageous, funny, motivated, ambitious, caring, loving, free to play, free to express themselves, free to ask questions, problems solver. Tonnes of words of affirmation are to be deposit into our children’s souls, hearts, and minds which equip them for the future of tomorrow. Our children are to know daily that they are loved, accepted, cared for, cherished, appreciated, and acknowledged. I heartfelt very saddened for not grasping these truths when they were being revealed to me at an early stage of my adulthood. The anonymous adult told me many disturbing events that occurred in his childhood which shaped his adulthood living with a condition called schizophrenia.

Famous quote: “Train up a child in the way he/she must go so that when he/she grows up he/she will not depart from it” I was lead to realise how the life of these precious gifts given to us is to be nurse, cared, cherished, supported, encouraged and motivated by us. My goal is to deposit rich affirmation words, simple but beautiful words to unlock their inner ability to shine/spark on the outside and to become contagious unto others. Let’s all create a future of hope and dreams for the next generation to succeed. I live to leave a healthy legacy to the children of our nation.